Danny Banks' best friends were his parents. They were his source of inspiration, unconditional love and support. When his dad, Emell Banks Jr., died in 2007, it was a shock to his system. He was only 25 and diving into his law enforcement career as a police officer at the Oelwein Police Department.
"My father was hardworking, a pillar of strength and dedication. He worked long hours for John Deere and never called into work sick or complained... which is why him getting sick was so hard," said Danny. "He had a tumor in his colon the size of a grapefruit, which had attached to his liver. Nothing prepares you for the moment someone you love begins chemotherapy. Watching him deteriorate was awful."
Nine months later, the family called Cedar Valley Hospice. It was Danny's first experience at the Hospice Home.
"Their team stepped in and helped lift the weight of fear and uncertainty, answering all of our questions and allowing us to focus on what truly mattered in those final moments: being present, sharing love and saying goodbye in a way that honored their lives," added Danny. "When my father finally passed, I was sleeping on the floor next to his bed."
Ten years later, Danny had to go through it all over again, this time with his mother, Tammy. The two were very close, and he credits her with giving him a sense of comfort and belonging he carries with him everyday.
“My mother had a heart of gold and was the heart of my family. She was nurturing and endlessly loving,” Danny said. “She thought about us kids and my father before herself and gave her best without hesitation. My mother’s love was fierce and unconditional, a constant presence in every stage of my life.”
That’s why when Tammy battled ovarian cancer, and he watched her, like his father, go through chemotherapy, it was devastating. But when it came time that Tammy needed more support, the family agreed Cedar Valley Hospice was the right choice.
“During one of the most difficult times, the Hospice Home team once again provided compassion, professionalism and understanding,” said Danny. “They didn’t just provide medical care, they offered emotional and spiritual support, listening with open hearts and treating both my parents with deep respect. On March 22, 2017, my mother passed away peacefully, where she was able to reunite with my father and our Lord and Savior.”
Losing both parents to cancer is something Danny carries with him daily. He said cancer has a very high occurrence in his family, which is partly why he maintains a consistent fitness regimen in his everyday life. He excelled as a former University of Northern Iowa defensive end and attributes a lot of his success to being dedicated and fit. He would be remiss, however, to not credit his parents with their constant support.
"No matter how hectic life got, they always showed up,” said Danny. “They didn’t just raise me, they guided me, supported me and believed in me every step of the way. My parents each had their own strengths, but together they created something rare: a home filled with love, respect and unwavering commitment."
Now, as Hudson Chief of Police and a family man married with four children, he looks back with admiration and gratitude that his parents taught him the value of connection, hard work and being there for the people you love. He carries these traits forward to his youngest children, who recently attended this year’s Release & Remember event to honor his parents. He has attended before, but this time he had the opportunity to open one of the butterfly boxes on stage. It’s a memory he won’t ever forget.
“This year’s event touched me different, but in a very personal way because I was able to share my story. As the butterflies took flight, I thought of my mom and dad and the many memories we shared together. It was a chance not only to remember them, but to feel close to them again, if only for a moment.”
Being surrounded by others who were also honoring their loved ones, Danny felt a sense of belonging and connection that words can’t fully describe.
“The Release & Remember celebration was a space where grief was not hidden, but acknowledged, shared and honored with compassion,” he said. “Each year I go, I feel the presence of my parents in every quiet moment, in every shared tear and in every name I see up on the board. Ultimately, I’ve realized that letting go isn't about forgetting, it's about honoring the love my parents gave so freely and the impact they had on my life. The celebration reminds me that even though they are no longer physically here, their spirit lives on, in my heart and in every act of love and kindness I continue to carry forward.”
Release & Remember will be held on Sunday, Sept. 13 from 1-3 p.m. at the RiverLoop Amphitheatre in Waterloo. To dedicate a butterfly for a loved one or for more information, visit cvhospice.org or call 319-272-2002.
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